9 Star Ki and Relationships
9 Star Ki is a profoundly insightful tool for understanding the deeper energetic dynamics that shape our relationships. Have you ever wondered why some people instantly feel easy to connect with, while others seem to trigger frustration, tension, or miscommunication—often without any obvious reason?
Most of us recognise that some connections flow effortlessly, while others take more work to navigate. What 9 Star Ki offers is a clear, compassionate lens through which to view these dynamics—one that helps us move beyond blame and into greater awareness. By understanding the Five Transformations and how different energies interact, we begin to see that many interpersonal challenges are not personal failures, but energetic mismatches or misunderstandings.
With this understanding, we can start to approach even our most difficult relationships with more empathy and curiosity. Rather than seeing others as difficult or incompatible, we can begin to recognise how their energetic makeup influences the way they think, feel, and respond to the world. This opens the door to deeper compassion, improved communication, and the ability to transform tension into growth. Over time, many people find themselves softening toward those they once resisted—and even learning the most from those they once found most challenging.
The 5 Transformations
The 5 transformations decribe how the 5 elements interact with one another
Each of the 5 elements relates to the other elements in 3 distinct ways, called "transformations". Traditional Chinese medicine use these same transformations to help make medical diagnoses, as well as to prescribe appropriate treatments to bring the body back into balance.
There are 3 different types of transformation or relationship:
Same Element (also known as the 'Sibling Relationship')
In this instance, both energies share the same element. For example, it could be two 3 Tree energies or one 3 Tree and one 4 Tree Energy. This combination tends to lead to a strong "sibling" relationship with an effortless and profound understanding between both parties. There is a great potential for mutual understanding, compassion and harmony in the relationship as well as little antagonism or misunderstanding, although it can still happen, of course. However, this type of relationship typically does not result in very passionate romantic relationships as it may lack "spark" and chemistry. It can, however, lead to lifelong friendships and partnerships.
The Supportive Transformation (also known as the 'Cycle of Growth' or the 'Shen Cycle')
In this instance, one of the energies supports and nourishes the next. For example, Tree energies support Fire energies. This is also known as the "Parent / Child" relationship. On the surface, it may appear that it is more of a one-way street. However, in reality, it does work both ways, even if the bulk of the support flows from the parent to the child. This is typically a very stable relationship and as the elements are not the same, there is generally more chemistry than in the previous transformation we discussed, in which the elements are the same.
Traditionally, in parts of China and Japan, families would consult 9 Star Ki astrologers when arranging marriages in order to ensure the maximum possible harmony and compatibility between the married couple. The Supportive Transformation was considered to be the most harmonious and favourable combination.
The Supportive Transformation specific to the elements
| Elements | Description |
|---|---|
| Water > Tree | The relationship between Water and Tree is often dynamic and growth-oriented, as Water naturally nourishes Tree. Water types tend to support and encourage the Tree person’s ideas, ambitions, and adventurous spirit, offering emotional depth and intuitive insight that can help Tree types feel seen and inspired. There is often a natural curiosity and admiration that Water feels toward Tree, which fosters enthusiasm and creative exchange. Tree types, in turn, bring movement, excitement, and fresh perspectives into the relationship, drawing Water out of emotional stillness and into action. This can be a mutually enriching partnership, provided the emotional needs of Water and the independence of Tree are both respected. With understanding, it becomes a beautifully supportive connection. |
| Tree > Fire | The Tree element nourishes Fire, offering the essential fuel that keeps its energy alive and vibrant. Tree individuals, with their spontaneous enthusiasm and generous spirit, often provide the encouragement and affirmation that Fire people need to shine. Their natural habit of expressing appreciation and admiration helps to bolster the sometimes fragile confidence of Fire types, making them feel seen, supported, and emotionally uplifted. In turn, Fire people feel more radiant and inspired in the presence of Tree energy. The warmth and passion of Fire blends harmoniously with the creativity and curiosity of Tree, resulting in a lively, expressive, and mutually empowering connection. This dynamic can be full of inspiration, excitement, and emotional affirmation, especially when both partners are attuned to one another's needs. |
| Fire > Earth | Fire provides illumination, clarity, and warmth to Earth—nourishing it much like the sun nourishes the soil. This dynamic makes for a harmonious relationship where Fire can help Earth people feel seen, inspired, and supported in their endeavors. Unlike the disruptive influence of Tree, Fire’s passionate and radiant energy tends to be welcomed by Earth individuals, who often appreciate its ability to gently lift them out of inertia without threatening their need for stability. Earth people may not always be open to advice or change, particularly if it comes across as forceful or ungrounded. But Fire’s expressive and emotionally intelligent nature offers guidance in a way that feels enlightening rather than confrontational. In this pairing, Fire helps Earth to remain vibrant and purposeful, while Earth offers Fire a grounding presence—creating a mutually enriching and emotionally warm connection. |
| Earth > Metal | The steady, stable, and reliable nature of Earth provides a deeply supportive foundation for Metal energies. Metal people tend to be structured, pragmatic, and thoughtful, but may find the impulsiveness or unpredictability of Tree and Fire elements somewhat jarring. In contrast, Earth’s calm and grounded presence aligns naturally with Metal’s rhythm, offering reassurance and consistency that helps Metal energies feel understood and supported. Metal people are often clear and direct in their communication—sometimes to the point of bluntness—but Earth individuals are typically resilient and emotionally steady enough to receive this style without becoming unsettled. This creates an environment where honest dialogue can flourish, leading to mutual trust and a productive, grounded relationship built on shared values of reliability, clarity, and integrity. |
| Metal > Water | Metal people bring structure, focus, and clarity to the often fluid and meandering nature of Water individuals. While Water energy flows in many directions and can sometimes become lost in emotional or imaginative depths, Metal offers the precision and decisiveness that helps Water regain a sense of orientation and purpose. This relationship can feel like a welcome sharpening of the mind for Water, bringing discernment and insight to their vast inner world. Interestingly, while Metal carries a more direct and cutting quality, Water—true to its nature—rarely feels wounded by it. Just as a blade cannot harm a flowing stream, Water individuals often absorb Metal’s sharpness with grace and appreciation. Rather than resisting, they may find it refreshing and illuminating, especially when they are seeking clarity in the midst of emotional complexity. |
The Challenging Transformation (also known as the 'Cycle of Destruction')
This type of relationship can easily be misunderstood. There is nothing inherently bad about the challenging or 'antagonistic' transformation. In fact, it is an essential part of life. In Traditional Chinese medicine, which uses the elements to understand the organs and their relationship to one another and to one's overall health, it is said that the challenging element is vitally important in order to calm down an overactive one which it controls, in order to bring balance back to the body. For example, the water element is said to govern the kidneys. During accuate kidney failure, there is also a negative impact on the heart (Fire element), which is no longer brought into balance by the Water element, resulting in an increased risk of heart attack.
This combination can be one of the most magnetic and results in the most personal growth. There is often a lot of natural chemistry between people with opposite elements. It is also the combination that is most likely to lead to misunderstandings and conflict. Sometimes this combination can lead to the element that is being challenged feeling thwarted and stifled. This is particularly the case if the challenging element is in a more powerful position emotionally or energetically. For example, a Tree person may feel as though all of their creativity - their "branches", so to speak - have been chopped down before they even had a chance to develop and explore any potential that may have been present. Or, a Fire person may feel their fire has been put out by a Water person, who wanted to do a deep dive into the depths of their terrain. However, as much as there can be greater conflict in this combination, it is in the resolution of this conflict that much progress is made and ultimately challenge leads to greater growth. It really comes down to the delicate balance between "carrot" and "stick".
The Challenging Transformation relative to the elements
| Elements | Description |
|---|---|
| Water > Fire |
The relationship between Water and Fire can be both fascinating and challenging. Water flows in depths, exploring emotion, nuance, and hidden truths, while Fire radiates outward—seeking clarity, illumination, and certainty. Fire people, accustomed to directness and bold expression, may find themselves disoriented by the shifting, subtle world of Water. Meanwhile, Water people can feel judged or stifled by Fire’s strong opinions and clear-cut distinctions, perceiving them as lacking emotional nuance or sensitivity. Yet, this pairing holds transformative potential. When both are balanced, Water can help soften Fire’s edges, offering a deeper emotional intelligence, while Fire can help Water clarify their emotional vision and channel it into action. In essence, their differences, though stark, have the capacity to be complementary—inviting growth, mutual understanding, and greater emotional maturity on both sides. |
| Tree > Earth |
Tree people love change and thrive on new ideas, spontaneity, and movement. Their dynamic energy can feel overwhelming to Earth types, who prefer stability, predictability, and gradual transitions. Earth people may feel disrupted or even pressured by the Tree person's rapid pace and ever-evolving direction. Like a young sapling pushing through the soil in spring, the Tree energy can shake up Earth’s steady ground, often without intending to. However, when Earth becomes stagnant or overly rooted, the invigorating presence of Tree can serve as a much-needed catalyst for growth. Tree’s enthusiasm and fresh perspective can breathe new life into Earth’s routines, helping them to regain momentum. When mutual respect is present, this pairing can be highly complementary—Tree energizes and inspires, while Earth grounds and nurtures. |
| Fire > Metal |
Metal people tend to be pragmatic, critical and clear, often possessing a broad perspective and a strong sense of logic and common sense. However, this clarity can sometimes harden into rigidity, causing them to become entrenched in fixed views or resistant to emotional nuance. Fire energies, by contrast, are expressive, dynamic, and full of warmth. They bring a vibrant, illuminating presence that can soften Metal’s sharper edges and warm their sometimes-cold logic. When these two energies interact in a balanced way, Fire's natural charm and emotional brightness can gently melt Metal’s resistance, helping them to open up to new perspectives or feelings. Likewise, Metal provides grounding and discernment that can help Fire stay focused and not burn out too quickly. Together, they can form a stimulating and complementary pair, blending passion with precision. |
| Earth > Water |
Water people, with their deep, fluid, and exploratory nature, often thrive in emotional and creative realms—but without direction, they can become scattered or overwhelmed by possibilities. Earth people, with their stable, grounded, and supportive energy, can provide much-needed containment for Water, offering a sense of structure and practical foundation. In this way, Earth can help Water clarify its path and manifest its ideas more effectively. However, when Earth becomes too dominant, its steadiness can turn into rigidity, constraining Water's natural adaptability and emotional flow. Water may then feel blocked or suppressed, leading to inner frustration or withdrawal. The key to this pairing lies in balance: Earth offering grounding and containment, and Water bringing flexibility and emotional richness to soften Earth’s tendency toward stagnation. |
| Metal > Tree | Tree people are highly creative, forward-thinking individuals and can be quite pioneering. However, many of their ideas require a great deal of refinement before they are of use. Metal people, with their broad perspective, common sense and critical eye are especially good at seeing the potential pitfalls in the ideas brought forward by Tree people. When this interaction works in a balanced way, the results can be spectacular (one might think of a beautifully pruned tree). However, when exposed to a very strong expression of the Metal element or if exposed over a long period of time, Tree's natural creative powers may be stifled, leading to anger and frustration. Metal’s critical input, though valuable, must be delivered with care so as not to cut down the Tree’s enthusiasm. In ideal partnerships, Metal helps shape the Tree’s potential into something lasting and strong, while Tree brings inspiration and renewal to Metal’s structured world. |
9 Star Ki and Sexuality
9 Star Ki can tell us some truly fascinating information about our sexuality and our relationships
9 Star Ki can tell us some truly fascinating and also incredibly useful information about our sexuality and our relationships with others. In the About 9 Star Ki section we discuss the concept of the Great Principle of 'Yin and Yang'.
Yin and Yang and its relationship to gender roles
For millenia society has tended to have fixed gender roles, making it hard for many men and women to find their true sexual expression
For millenia, society has tended to have quite fixed gender roles and associations which have not necessarily reflected people's true nature. In the majority of world cultures, men have, to a large extent, been expected to act like alpha males and have often felt the need to hide any natural traits that could be viewed as "feminine". Equally, women have been expected to adopt roles that society as deemed more "feminine" and have also often felt the need to hide any natural tendencies that didn't fit the mould handed to them.
Today we are developing deeper understanding about the cosmic Feminine and Masculine, or "Yin" and "Yang" energies and how they affect human beings
Today many of these myths still persist; however, they are slowly fading, as we develop a deeper understanding about the cosmic Feminine and Masculine, or "Yin" and "Yang" energies and how they affect human beings. In truth, men and women, in their most natural expression, can embody a wide range of masculine and feminine traits. Gender roles are nothing like as fixed as we traditionally believed them to be. Many gay and transgender people are leading the way in enlightening the world on these matters; however, many people still struggle with this, regardless of their sexuality.
Our Solar Energy and its relationship to sexuality
Our Solar Energy is intimately connected to our deeper sense of sexual security and identity
Our Solar Energy is intimately connected to our deeper sense of sexual security and identity and affects how comfortable an individual is likely to feel with his or her sexuality. Each of the nine energies is considered either Yin ("feminine") or Yang ("masculine"). For example, 1 Water energies is considered Yang, whereas 2 Earth energies are Yin.
If a person's Solar Energy is in alignment with their biological gender, this tends to result in their having a deeper sense of security in regards to their sexuality.
If the Solar Energy is opposite to a person's gender, then this can result their having a more complex relationship with their sexuality and they may find it harder to relate to members of the opposite sex.
Our Emotional Ki and its relationship to sexuality
Our Emotional Ki has more of an influence on the way we express our sexuality overtly or superficially
Our Emotional Ki has more of an influence on the way we express our sexuality overtly or superficially. For example, it could affect how a person dresses, their mannerisms and behaviour with regards to attracting a mate, as well as their behaviour in relationships.
When a person's Emotional Ki reflects their biological gender, they are more likely to dress and behave in a way that is typically associated with that gender, sometimes to the extreme.
Conversely, if the Emotional Ki is opposite to biological gender, then the person typically feels comfortable with and can relate more deeply to members of the opposite sex, with or without the presence of a strong sexual attraction.